I’m guilty of it and I’ve recently seen other moms doing the same thing…getting upset at our husbands for things that are insignificant. We have to remember that our husbands’ brains are wired differently than our perfect female brains (JUST KIDDING…we aren’t perfect). Anyway…by taking a deep breath and hugging ourselves so we can relax, we will notice that indeed, our husbands did what we asked them…in their way.
Example #1: You asked your husband to go to the store to buy some frozen peas and carrots. He comes home with ice cream and frozen vegetables that included peas and carrots but also included corn, lima beans, and various other vegetables. When asked why he bought the kind with all of the “extra” vegetables in it, he states that there weren’t bags that didn’t have just peas and carrots.
In our brains, we may think 1) he’s full of it! I saw some on sale in the freezer section YESTERDAY or 2) I CANNOT BELIEVE HE DIDN’T LISTEN TO ME! Whatever our brains think, we know we’re irritated/frustrated/angry that he didn’t get what we asked him to get – frozen peas and carrots. Now, take a deep breath, exhale and hug yourself. Your lovely husband 1) agreed to go to the store to help you when he could’ve said “no, I don’t want to go out” and 2) he did actually buy what you asked him to. You didn’t tell him what NOT to buy. Make sense?
Example #2: Your husband takes your daughter swimming right before she’s suppose to go to ballet. You know it’s difficult to get your child out of the pool and get her ready for ballet. You are furious with your husband and cannot comprehend why on earth the man would take your child swimming before class!
Take a deep breath, exhale and hug yourself. Your husband 1) was thoughtful enough to take your child swimming to allow you the time to do other things around the house that you wanted to get done and 2) may not have known the impact it would have on you and the child if he took the child swimming. By communicating/informing him of the consequences, he is unlikely to do it again.
I’m definitely guilty of similar situations as those listed above. Just remember that you and your husband are on the same team and that they may need SPECIFIC instructions/direction/guidance. You handle them every day, all day and he may not so help him help you!