I have always been the type to want/need new challenges in my career. When I was in college I majored in finance and said I wanted to be the CFO for a major corporation one day. For the last 8 years, I have worked hard and long hours to try to show senior management that I had the drive to be a leader. I know I’m valuable and I know I can make positive changes in any functional area that I’m put into because I strive for perfection and desire efficiency in business operations.
A couple of months ago, I applied for a promotion – a huge one. After being laid off in 2010, I had to take a position as an analyst (previously a manager with no direct reports) with my current company. This was tough but I was happy to be back in the corporate world. My current job is comfortable and my manager is understanding of my work schedule, my requirements at home, and it’s just an overall “easy” position. My pay is decent as well. But I was/am craving that challenge which is why I applied for another job. I was super excited about it and the potential advancement it could bring in my future with the company.
Shortly after having my interview for the position, I started second guessing what I should do. If I was offered the position, I would work longer hours thus resulting in my being away from my family even more. Here I was fighting my desire to excel at work with my desire to be at home with my family. I know a lot of successful women in the past have made sacrifices in the hopes of giving their children a better future but now I didn’t know if the sacrifices would be worth not being home to read the SAME bedtime stories over and over or cuddling with my little ones as they peacefully entered dreamland.
Luckily I wasn’t offered the position. Although my instinct was disappointment, I found complete relief in the news. I’m satisfied in my current position but I am thankful for the ability to leave at 4 p.m. every day, run home, relax for a little bit before starting dinner and greeting my husband and little ones when they get home. I love sitting on the steps near the foyer as my daughter yells “mama” when she opens the door and comes crashing into me with a huge kiss and hug. Then seeing my son smile the biggest smile ever and sign the word “eat” (mama is synonymous with eat, apparently). I love having the opportunity to cuddle before dinner and asking the kids how their day was and what their favorite part of the day was. These are moments I think I would have missed dearly had I gotten the promotion.
The grass isn’t always greener on the other side but that won’t keep me from still striving to get to the other side. Eventually, I’ll have the perfect fit and all things will fall into place.